


Wherever I'm With You

by 14hpgirl19



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bonding, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Lives, Loki is a part of Endgame, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve really likes Loki's eyes, messing with verb tenses, the enemies part isn't a huge focus though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 10:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19868008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14hpgirl19/pseuds/14hpgirl19
Summary: After defeating Thanos, Steve's thinking of returning to the past.Loki doesn't approve.





	Wherever I'm With You

Steve is not surprised when Loki joins him out by the lake. If anything, he’s surprised at how long it took him to turn up.

“I thought Barton wished to be the one to return the Stones,” Loki says, for once getting straight to the point. Steve, with his hands in his pockets, keeps his eyes on the glittering surface before them.

“He did,” he replies. “Wanted to see if he could get Natasha back. But he’s been without his family for so long. He deserves some time with them.”

“So you took on the task for him.” Loki doesn’t phrase it as a question. Steve shrugs.

“There isn’t really anyone else.”

He knows without even looking that Loki is glaring at him. The fact that he knows says a lot about what’s transpired over the last five years.

“Oh, of course,” Loki says, his voice edged like one of his beloved blades. “Surely there is no one better suited for a one-man covert operation in the past. If only there were someone who could, say, alter their appearance at will, or perform magic –”

“Loki,” Steve interrupts, already tired. “You’ve done enough. Really.”

“And you haven’t?” Steve still has not looked at him, so Loki steps forward and puts himself directly into Steve’s line of vision. He’s still in his black suit, just like Steve. The funeral ended not long ago. “Steve,” Loki says in a low voice. “You have done enough for this world. You deserve your rest.”

“It’s not going to be a difficult mission,” Steve argues weakly. Loki gives him a dangerous look. Steve has always been a poor liar, but Loki is especially adept at picking up tells.

“If you will not let me do it,” Loki says, jaw tight, “allow me to accompany you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You could use my help.”

“It’s too –” Steve just barely refrains from saying “dangerous,” but based on the way Loki’s eyes flash, he caught the meaning.

“Oh,” Loki says. “I see.” He smiles, and it’s barbed and wrong and makes Steve feel sick. “Still the noble Captain America, even until the bitter end. You will protect everyone you can, even if it results in your destruction.”

“Loki, please,” Steve says. He resists the urge to reach out to him. “That’s not it. You know it’s not.”

The wind stirs Loki’s dark hair. In the dying sunlight, his pale skin stands out, and Steve is struck by how beautiful he is.

“You’re not coming back.” Like before, it isn’t phrased as a question. Loki’s face is carefully blank, his normally expressive eyes showing no emotion. Steve swallows.

“I dunno. It’s – I haven’t decided anything. Not officially.”

“But you have considered it.”

“I mean, yeah,” Steve says. There’s no point in lying. “You said it yourself, all those years ago. I’m a man out of time. This would give me the chance to get back into it.”

The slight tightening of Loki’s jaw is the only indication he’s bothered by this. “What of the life you’ve made here? You’ve only just gotten Sam and Wanda back.” He pauses and looks down. “Your Bucky is back too.”

Steve’s heart gives a little lurch at the mention of his oldest friend. Loki knows how Steve felt – maybe even still feels – about him.

“It’s not that simple,” Steve says. “I don’t want to leave anyone, but maybe… maybe I have to.”

Loki meets his eyes again. There’s the slightest hint of fear in them.

“And what of me?” he asks. “Do I matter so little to you?”

* * *

Five years ago, when Thor returned to Earth to help fight Thanos, Loki was by his side. It was jarring to see their old enemy fighting alongside them, but as long as he was taking out Thanos’ cannon fodder instead of humans, no one was going to object.

Loki even saved Steve’s life. Steve was so caught up in fighting one of the rabid space creatures that he hardly noticed another leaping toward his back. When he turned around, the creature was motionless on the ground, with a blade sticking out of its neck. Loki merely nodded at him before launching himself back into the battle.

When they lost, the devastation was widespread. No one was unaffected by it. Steve knelt in Bucky’s ashes, his fingers shaking, and listened as more people disappeared all around him. He watched as Thor grabbed Loki and clung to him, afraid he would dissipate into nothingness. It was a little surprising to see Loki hold Thor with the same fierce desperation, but Steve was too numb to really process it.

Tony returned to Earth, and Thor killed Thanos on a planet far away. The realization that they would not be able to reverse the Snap gradually sunk in and changed everyone in different ways. Tony retreated with Pepper to a lakeside cabin in the woods. Clint became a vigilante. Natasha took on the mantle of team leader. Bruce found inner peace and professional success. Thor stowed himself away in New Asgard, struggling with his demons. And Steve… Steve was utterly and completely lost. He led therapy groups and turned down Natasha’s offer to join her disparate new version of the Avengers. He focused on getting out of bed in the morning and putting one foot in front of the other, because if he didn’t he would drown.

In the aftermath of Thanos’ death, Loki disappeared. Everyone assumed he was off wandering the galaxy, since he seemed like the type that never wanted to be in one place for too long. Steve thought it was a little awful of him to leave Thor behind when he was struggling so much, but he didn’t care enough about Loki to get really indignant about it.

Then, one day when Steve was visiting Natasha at the old facility, they received a message from Loki from New Asgard. With Thor grappling with depression, Loki had returned to help ease his burden and take care of him. Steve was bewildered, but also reluctantly impressed. It seemed Loki really did care about his brother, despite everything that had transpired between them.

Loki became the unofficial ambassador (and at times, king regent) for New Asgard, which was rather ironic considering how just a few years before, he was a bigger threat than Thanos. He could still be incredibly rude and cruel, but when the situation required it, he maintained a professional air. For the first year and a half of his time at New Asgard, Steve didn’t think much about him save the occasional worry that Loki would use his small amount of power to wreak havoc once again.

That fear faded the first time Steve visited New Asgard himself. Natasha had suggested it to him, saying she was worried about Thor and thought a familiar face might help him. Steve didn’t know at the time how she knew about Thor’s condition, seeing as he barely reached out to anyone these days, but he didn’t question it. He had little going on in his life and relished the chance to do something useful.

Loki was the one who met him at the edge of the growing community. There was something strange about him being dressed in a thick green sweater and dark jeans, but Steve didn’t find it terrible. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to bow or shake his hand.

“Loki,” he said, settling for an awkward nod. Loki inclined his head.

“Captain.”

“Um, just Steve is fine.” The title of Captain had already felt like a burden before Thanos happened. Steve was lighter without it.

“Mm. I think not,” Loki said. Steve frowned and opened his mouth, but Loki had already turned and started walking away. Reminding himself that he was there for Thor, Steve hurried after him.

They walked in silence for a while. Steve looked around, taking in the sights of a once-mighty society struggling to find its footing in a new world. He hadn’t known what he expected, but the number of people he saw was… disheartening.

“Less than a quarter,” Loki said. He wasn’t looking at Steve.

“Huh?”

“That is how many of us remain.” His voice was flat, detached. “When the Mad Titan found us, our numbers had already been reduced by half. His actions took even more.”

Steve felt a pang of sympathy, and another one of guilt. He hadn’t been able to stop Thanos. This was partially his fault.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Loki finally did glance at him then, his eyes narrowing.

“We all lost,” Loki said. “You weren’t the only one fighting him.”

It was disconcerting, Loki knowing exactly what he was thinking. He’d known he was an open book, but this was different.

“How’s Thor?” he asked, eager to move on. Loki’s face tightened, and he pressed his lips together.

“Not well,” Loki said. “If you think your guilt is suffocating… just wait.”

Simply saying Thor was “not well” felt like a massive understatement. Thor was drunk when Steve came through the door and looked to be in the process of opening another bottle of beer. He temporarily forgot about it in his excitement to see Steve, and Steve was able to get him to ignore the alcohol for a little bit. Loki, he noticed, made himself scarce.

It was clear that Thor had been drinking heavily and avoiding thinking about what had happened. Steve was ashamed of himself for not knowing what Thor had been going through and not helping. In an attempt to make up for lost time, he stayed two whole weeks. He spent most of his time with Thor, encouraging him to get out of the house under the guise of asking for a tour of New Asgard.

He saw Loki at least once a day, usually whenever Loki came to see Thor. Thor was always delighted to see his brother, and though Loki was still cool and snarky, Steve could see he was holding back. His quips and insults held little heat, and he looked at Thor with something not unlike concern.

(Thor always grasped Loki’s hand whenever he left. Loki was never the first to pull away.)

Steve knew two weeks would not be enough to completely heal Thor, but he did his best. He also planned on visiting more often. He’d been away from his friend for too long.

“Thanks for suggesting I come here,” he said to Natasha. She’d called him on his last night to check in and see when he’d be back stateside. “I think it was good for Thor. I didn’t even know he was struggling this much.”

“I wish I could’ve gone with you,” she said. Nat had been too busy keeping track of all the disasters that cropped up around the globe. “When Loki told me about him, I got worried.”

“Hang on.” Steve paused in his packing. “Loki told you about Thor?”

“Yeah,” Natasha said. “He actually was the one who planted the idea in my head about people visiting him.”

Steve processed this, let it sink in. Suddenly, it was hard not to see Loki in a different light.

The next morning, when Steve said his goodbyes, he made sure to shake Loki’s hand. Loki looked annoyed at the gesture.

“Thank you getting me here,” Steve said in a low voice. “And keep me posted, okay?”

Surprise briefly flared on Loki’s face. He nodded, and that was when Steve’s correspondence with Loki began.

* * *

“You know,” Steve says slowly, “that you’re important to me.”

Loki scoffs and turns away. “Do I know that? Truly? At this moment, it hardly seems so. None of us do, as a matter of fact.”

“I haven’t decided yet!” Steve’s getting angry, he can feel it pulsing under his skin. Of all the people he thought would understand, Loki was among the likeliest.

“You say that, and you lie to yourself,” Loki says. “You always lie to yourself.”

“Oh, _I_ do?” Steve laughs, bitterly. Loki nearly flinches, and Steve feels some perverse triumph. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”

They’re far enough away from the cabin that their steadily raising voices hasn’t brought anyone over. Steve is grateful for that. His recently returned friends experienced quite a shock when they discovered his sudden friendship with Loki, and they haven’t accepted it yet. Beyond that, Steve doesn’t want Thor to get involved with this. He’d likely side with Loki. And then hurt Steve in some way.

“How dare you,” Loki growls, his green eyes stormy. Steve’s always had a weakness for his eyes. “That is hardly the point and you know it. You just do not want to face the idea that you might be _wrong_ in this. It is easier to pick at my own deficiencies, is it not? Especially when I have _so many._ ”

“Stop it!” Steve shouts. He rubs his face. “I don’t – you know I don’t think that. You _know_ that. I thought you’d understand.”

“Understand what? Your desperation to leave everyone behind?”

“My wish to get the life I always wanted.” Steve scrunches his face up, then smooths it out. He looks at Loki helplessly. “I’m not meant for this time. I shouldn’t be here.”

“But you have created your own place here,” Loki insists. His shoulders are tight, his hands balled into fists. “You have people here who care about you, who want to see you.”

Steve thinks of Tony, of Natasha. “Some of them aren’t here.”

Loki’s eyes search Steve’s face. Then he scowls. “Stop blaming yourself. There was nothing you could have done, for either of them.”

“But I still –”

“Did you put the Stones on Stark’s hand? Did you push Natasha off that cliff?” Steve flinches, but Loki does not back down, despite a slight waver in his voice. “They would not want you to punish yourself by choosing exile in a different century.”

“Who said this was about punishment?” Steve counters. “Have you ever considered this is what I _want_?”

For a long moment, Loki simply stares at him. Steve holds firm, meeting his gaze evenly.

“No,” Loki finally says. “I have not. Because it is not.”

“And how do you know?”

“Simple.” Loki’s lips quirk, sadly. “I know you, Steve.”

* * *

The main subject of Steve and Loki’s correspondence was Thor for a good two months. Loki would email Steve (something that surprised Steve, since it took him a good year before he attempted to pick that up) about Thor’s well-being, and Steve would reply with some suggestions or words of support. It was cordial and held no personality whatsoever.

It wasn’t until fall began to roll around that things changed. Steve had suggested that Loki convince Thor to leave New Asgard and visit somewhere else. _New York in the fall is nice,_ he wrote. _It’s a little less vibrant than it was before, but he might like it. You could come too._

Steve almost didn’t add the last sentence, but it felt rude. Loki’s response said Thor rejected that idea almost immediately, citing a need to be with his people. _And besides,_ the email concluded, _I doubt it would be a good idea to have me visit after last time._

It was the first time Loki’s first (or, first recorded) visit to Earth had been referenced since he returned to fight Thanos. Steve was thrown by it. He expected a shred of anger, of disappointment to fill him at the memories. Instead, he realized he just felt hollow. The past was the past, he often said at his group meetings. Sometimes you had to let it go.

_I dunno,_ he said back to Loki. _I don’t think you’re on a lot of people’s shit lists anymore. And maybe it would be nice for you to actually see the city. It’s a great place._

_And what would you show me, if I were to visit?_

For some reason, that question had made Steve smile. He gave Loki a detailed itinerary of his imaginary visit to New York City, complete with the things he would have shown him before Thanos. Loki admitted some of the things sounded rather enjoyable, and that perhaps he would visit after all.

Then Thor went through a particularly rough patch, and their messages returned to being focused on him. Steve assumed Loki was humoring him about coming to visit and put it out of his mind completely.

Then, one day, he found Loki on his doorstep.

“Valkyrie is minding Thor for a few days,” Loki said by way of explanation. “She suggested I take a break.”

Steve had gotten over his shock by this point. “You don’t seem like the type to take suggestions.”

Loki smiled, though it was more of a ghost than anything. “Her suggestions come with daggers aimed at my throat.”

Asgardians were strange, Steve thought. He didn’t question it though, because he had more pressing matters on his hands. Namely, an alien prince who apparently wanted to visit the city he once attempted to invade. It was good he had already created an itinerary.

Over the next week, Steve showed Loki New York. The city was still piecing itself back together in the wake of Thanos’ devastation, but he got to take Loki to the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. They took long, mindless walks through Central Park, and Steve taught him how to feed ducks.

At no point did he think it was odd that he was spending his time with his former enemy. The past few years had been odd enough to leave him unflappable. Besides that, Loki was pleasant company. He was funny, charming, and almost shockingly intelligent. Steve found himself smiling more than he had in a very long time.

When they visited Times Square, Steve bit his lip and said, “This was where I learned I’d been stuck in the ice for seventy years.”

Loki had been looking at all the lights and advertisements, but he turned his gaze to Steve. “They brought you here?”

“Oh, uh, no.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I sort of… ran here. After waking up. I was freaking out, and the woman wasn’t answering my questions, so I broke out and sprinted here. Fury caught up to me and explained it all.”

Loki contemplated that. “I take it this area looked different in your time.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “Way different. This place alone gave me a panic attack.”

“And now?” Loki tilted his head to the side. “How do you feel about this time?”

No one had ever asked Steve that. He was unprepared to answer it. “I guess… it’s complicated. It has its benefits, but also… I feel wrong for it. If that makes sense. It’s like I don’t belong.” He looked around Times Square and past it, toward the rest of the city he once knew so well. “It’s the place I grew up in, but it’s like a different world.” Loki was still watching him with a calculating look. Steve dropped his head. “That probably sounds stupid.”

“Would you believe me if I said,” Loki said slowly, like he felt uncomfortable saying the words, “that I have felt the exact same way?”

Unexpected warmth bloomed in Steve chest. He knew Loki was adopted. Thor had never told him the details, but he could guess some things. It would’ve rattled Loki’s world completely, left him on uncertain ground.

For the first time, Steve felt understood.

“I would,” Steve said, with a certainty that he wouldn’t have ever expected to feel with Loki. He was rewarded with a small smile.

From that point on, their emails, while still talking about Thor a good deal, also veered into discussions about themselves. Steve shared stories about his life before the War, and Loki told him about worlds he had visited and magic he knew.

_This one time, at Coney Island, Bucky wasted all of our money trying to impress these girls… meanwhile I just wanted a hot dog._

_It took me a long time to master my illusions. The key is concentrating, and as a child I was not the best at that. Which is perhaps an understatement._

_My ma always wanted to take me to Ireland and show me where she grew up. I’ve considered going now, but it feels wrong without her, you know?_

_I have visited so many worlds, yet picking a favorite, as you wish for me to do, is nearly impossible. There are certainly ones I dislike, but there are many that are… indescribable. Someday, perhaps, I could show you some._

Over time, the emails got more personal. It was easy to open up to Loki, possibly because Steve never had to look him in the eye as he did.

(Though he also found himself missing Loki’s eyes. It was a bit of a predicament.)

_I always knew we could lose at any time, during any fight, but I think a part of me thought we were too strong for that. We’d beaten every odd, so why should this one have been any different?_

_You could say I’m used to losing (and you would be right), but I will admit this time has hurt a great deal more. Perhaps it is because I chose a different side. Perhaps it is because I see my brother struggling to cope with it. I do not know. It certainly has not gotten any easier to process._

_Sometimes I wish I’d gotten dusted too._

_Please do not say that._

Each email from Loki was a bright spot in Steve’s life, a spot he hadn’t seen in an agonizingly long time. Loki had somehow become one of his closest friends, someone he could confide in and trust. Someone he missed greatly when they were apart.

“You should move there,” Natasha said one day, during one of Steve’s visits. He’d been rereading his latest email from Loki (which featured a hilarious story about Thor and a horse), a small smile at his lips.

“Where?”

“New Asgard.” When Steve tried to look indignant, Natasha smiled sadly. “I don’t think this place is doing you any favors, Steve. It would be good for you, I think.”

“But what about you?” he asked, despite knowing he would probably end up going. At least for a little while.

“I have things to keep me occupied,” she said. “And we can still talk. I’ll expect weekly phone calls.”

“Nat,” he said. He felt like he should put up _some_ kind of a fight. “I don’t know if it’s a great idea.”

“Of course it is,” she said. “It would make you happy, it would probably make Thor happy, and it would make Loki happy.”

Steve blinked, thrown by this. “Wait. It would? And how would you know that?”

The corner of her lips quirked up. “We talk.”

“Loki. You and Loki talk.”

“Not as much as you two do,” she conceded. “But, yeah. He’s a lot more fun when he isn’t trying to kill us all.”

Steve chewed his lip. It was very sudden and very ridiculous.

His bags were packed by the end of the day.

* * *

The sun is nearly set by now. Soon, someone will come out looking for them, most likely Thor. Steve doesn’t want to talk about this with anyone else, but he knows Loki isn’t finished.

“Look me in the eye,” Loki says, “and tell me this is truly your heart’s desire.”

Steve tightens his jaw and raises his eyes to Loki’s. Somehow, the simple action makes everything so much more complicated.

“It’s what I want,” Steve says, a touch weakly. Loki frowns, not at all appeased.

“Fine then,” he says. Steve starts a little in surprise. “Go back to your past. Marry your Agent Carter, create a better life for yourself.” Loki’s expression is twisted, ugly. Wounded, Steve realizes. It breaks his heart. “Forget about the rest of us.”

“I wouldn’t just – _forget_ about you.” He feels like his world has been tilted and tossed all over in the past ten minutes. It’s hard to say which way is up and which is down. Running a hand through his hair, he says, “Loki, you… you saved my life. Okay? After everything five years ago, I was drowning, and I stopped wanting to _live._ You changed that. So don’t make it seem like I’m just throwing you away without a second thought. It’s way more complicated than that.”

Something in Loki’s tough mask fractures. Steve sees it, holds onto it.

“If that is how you feel,” Loki says slowly, and Steve is a little shocked, because Loki’s words always come out quickly and precisely. Now it sounds like he is choosing his words carefully, as if afraid of saying the wrong thing. “Then why don’t you stay?”

Loki’s stopped looking at him, his shoulders hunched, and Steve realizes that he looks… vulnerable. It’s a strange look on the normally confident and untouchable Loki. It stirs something in Steve’s chest.

“I just don’t know what’s here for me anymore,” Steve admits. “I feel like if I stay, all I’m gonna do is get pulled into fight after fight after fight. And then what? I lose more people I care about?”

“That does not have to be all there is,” Loki insists. “Look at what Stark was able to create here. Who is to say you cannot have the same?”

The words slip out with no consideration as to the impact it could have. “Tony had Pepper. Who could I create this life with?”

Loki looks out at the lake. In the weak light, Steve can hardly see his face. “Your Bucky is back,” Loki says, so quiet it nearly gets lost in the wind.

“He is. But he’s never… it’s not like that, with us.”

“You wanted it to be.”

“It’s too late for that. He deserves the chance to make something new for himself. And I don’t think… we’re better as friends now.”

Loki exhales. “That woman Sharon then. You were quite fond of her.”

Steve can see how tight Loki’s shoulders are. This is hurting him, for some reason. Steve thinks he might have a guess as to what that reason is.

“Loki,” he says softly. “Come on.”

Loki’s head drops forward, his fingers twisting. Then he pulls himself up straight and turns to face Steve.

“You have me,” he says. “You’ve had me for the past five years. I could – _we_ could create a life together. You say I saved you, but you made me a better person. I cannot –” Loki falters slightly, and Steve feels like his knees are about to give out. “I cannot lose you.”

From the house, Steve hears someone calling their names. It sounds like Thor. In a moment, he’ll come looking for the both of them.

“Loki,” is all he says, because that’s the only thing he can think.

Loki looks down at his feet and closes his eyes. “I cannot change your mind if it is already made,” he says. “But if there is still a chance… please consider it.”

He leaves without another word, leaves Steve alone by the water with his head spinning and his chest aching.

* * *

Steve settled into life in New Asgard remarkably well. It was quieter than the city, more peaceful. It was hard not to feel a keen sense of loss anywhere these days, and it still felt sharp in New Asgard, but there was also resilience in the air. Steve respected it. He thought it made him stronger.

As Natasha guessed, Thor was thrilled to have Steve there, as demonstrated by the bone-crushing hug Steve received when he arrived. Loki’s welcome was far more subdued, but Steve could see the small, pleased smile on his lips. That alone told Steve he made the right decision.

Loki got him a cozy little apartment not far from his and Thor’s. It overlooked the bay and got great sunlight. Steve adored it. He took to sketching on the window seat, something he hadn’t done in a long time.

Wanting to contribute to the burgeoning society, he worked with the fishermen. He hauled the catches in and repaired boats when needed. Admittedly, his knowledge in seafaring had been lacking prior to his arrival, but Asgardians were surprisingly good teachers and were patient with him.

In his free time, he was either with Thor or Loki. Thor was drinking less, he noticed, and left his house more and more. He was eager to show Steve all aspects of Asgardian culture, from their sports to their feasts. Steve ate more in his first week in New Asgard than he had during his entire childhood, he was certain. It was obvious Thor was still struggling to cope with Asgard’s loss, but he was persevering. He was fighting. It relieved Steve and made him proud.

His time with Loki was just as enjoyable, if for different reasons. He and Loki took walks around the small community, and when that became too monotonous, they ventured out to the surrounding hills and bluffs. Their emails became verbal conversations, as they talked about mostly the same things they wrote about. The only difference was that Steve was able to see Loki’s smile and hear his laugh when he said something that pleased him.

Loki was nothing like Steve expected, and it was wonderful. He retained his sharp edges, but he had a softer side that few people got to see. He had an insatiable thirst for knowledge, something Steve picked up on the first time he saw Loki’s apartment and its mountains of books. He also had a sweet tooth, could get nightmares, and cared about his brother more than he ever said.

Steve was immensely fond of him. He cherished every one of their conversations (even the ones that turned into arguments) and missed him when they were apart. Sometimes he laughed about the fact that, of all the people he could’ve gotten attached to, it had to be the supervillain who once tried to take over the planet. He thought Tony might’ve gotten a kick out of that, if they had been talking. Natasha was certainly amused by it.

If he forced himself to really think about it, Steve could admit that he began falling for Loki within a month of his arrival in New Asgard. However, he chose not to examine the warm feelings that stirred in his stomach whenever he laid eyes on the dark-haired god. Loki was one of the few things in this new, scary world that he had to hold onto. He couldn’t risk losing that. He wouldn’t.

One night, Steve was over Thor and Loki’s place late into the night. Thor had long since gone to bed, but Steve and Loki remained on the couch, sitting far closer together than Steve had with Thor. Steve was watching the way Loki’s eyes lit up while he talked about something he found fascinating.

“It is a different kind of magic, one I admit I am not familiar with. If I still had access to Asgard’s libraries, perhaps I could...” Loki trailed off, his eyes narrowing. “What is it?”

“Huh?” Steve had his elbow resting on the back of his couch with his head propped on his hand. His knee was nearly touching Loki’s thigh.

“You’re looking at me funny.”

“No, I’m not,” Steve replied. Loki only looked more suspicious.

“Am I boring you?”

Steve shook his head. “Never.”

“Liar.”

“I don’t lie.”

“You just did, about the way you were looking at me.”

“I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about with that. It’s just my face.”

Loki rolled his eyes and looked away. He was fighting back a smile, which only made Steve smile.

“You are…” Loki shook his head. “You are something strange, Steve Rogers.”

“Strange?” Steve sat up a little, straightening his back. “That sounds like an insult.”

“I did not intend it as one. You would know if I did.”

Steve hummed his agreement. Loki had snapped at him several times. He knew what it was like when Loki wanted to offend someone.

“Why is strange a compliment then?”

Loki turned his head, and Steve fully realized just how close they were. When he spoke, Loki’s voice was hardly more than a murmur.

“You are a good man, and I find myself drawn to you.”

Steve swallowed. His heart was like a hummingbird. “Drawn to me how?”

Loki’s eyes searched his. For a moment, he seemed to lean forward. Then he froze when a whimper startled them both.

“Thor,” Loki said before rising and hurrying out of the room. Steve bit back a groan and sank back against the couch. It was wrong to fault his friend for having a nightmare. He knew that, he did.

But it was really hard to not feel annoyed.

_Maybe I should ask Loki to dinner,_ he thought, trying not to listen to the quiet words Loki was sharing with his brother, now wide awake. _He might like that. I’d like that._

Nothing further happened that night. The next day, Natasha called to say Scott Lang had reappeared at the facility with new information. Information that could fix what was broken five years before.

Just like his dance over seventy years ago, Steve’s dream of dinner was gone in a flash.

* * *

Steve rises early the next morning for his mission. He’d hardly gotten any sleep the night before, too anxious over what could go wrong and too confused about Loki. Before the Time Heist and the final fight with Thanos, Steve had been certain about what he wanted in life. Seeing Peggy back in the seventies altered things, took his desires and strewn them all over the floor. His conversation with Loki tucked them back in place.

He just needs to get through this final trip.

When he walks outside, he spots Bruce talking to Sam and Bucky by the Quantum Realm equipment. He knows they’re both worried about him and is touched to see them waiting. It’s still a huge relief to see them both standing before him, alive and well.

Standing a short distance away from them, close enough to hear Bruce’s words but far enough to be separate, is Loki. Steve’s heart picks up.

“Morning, Steve,” Bruce greets him. “You ready to go?”

Steve nods and tries to catch Loki’s eye. Loki studiously avoids him, instead engaging Bucky and Sam in conversation. It takes more work than Steve wants to admit to stay focused on Bruce’s instructions.

Sam offers to come with him. Steve gently turns him down. Bucky gives him a big hug and a long look. Steve knows he knows of his small wish to return to their own time. Besides Loki, Bucky knows him better than anyone.

Steve thinks Loki won’t approach him to say goodbye, so he takes it upon himself to step up to him and look him in the eye.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Steve says. Loki wears his aloof persona like armor.

“I merely wished to say goodbye,” Loki says. “I thank you for all you have done for my brother and for New Asgard. It is greatly appreciated.”

It’s so formal and distant, and Steve wants to shatter it. Instead, he offers a sad smile.

“Bye, Loki.”

He steps up onto the small platform, the case with the Stones firmly in hand. He picks up Mjolnir (still a thrill) and gets his helmet on. The last thing he sees before he goes subatomic is Loki, his beautiful eyes pained.

* * *

The mission is harder than he anticipated and far more ridiculous.

(Seeing Red Skull again was not something he had ever wanted to do. He was all too happy to leave Vormir.)

After spending a week returning the Stones, he returns to the same spot ten seconds after he left. Bucky looks surprised for a brief moment before smiling. Sam whoops and claps, his relief obvious.

Loki’s several feet away, his back turned to the platform. Steve sees the moment when he stops walking, his body tensing.

“All back safe and sound?” Sam asks as he steps down.

“Yep. May we never have to see them again.”

Sam claps him on the back, and Bucky squeezes his arm. Steve knows they’re desperate for time with him, just as he’s desperate for time with them. But he’s relieved when Bucky nods towards Loki’s still form.

“Go on,” Bucky murmurs. “Go talk to him.”

Steve nods his thanks and catches up to Loki. He has to walk around him to catch his eyes, which are wide with disbelief and – Steve nearly smiles – hope.

“What, didn’t stick around for my return? I’m hurt.”

Loki swallows and composes himself. “And inflate your ego further? I wouldn’t dream of it, Captain.”

“Steve. Don’t close up on me now.”

Loki presses his lips together and nods tightly. Steve’s never felt more nervous in his life.

“You said something about starting a life together.” Steve bites his lip. “Is that offer still on the table?”

Emotions flicker across Loki’s face. He draws in a deep, shaking breath.

“I cannot promise to be good at it,” Loki says. “I can be difficult to love.”

Steve reaches forward and takes his hand. Loki’s fingers tighten around his reflexively before relaxing.

“I dunno,” Steve says. “Hasn’t been too hard so far.”

Loki’s eyes widen even more. Steve squeezes his hand gently.

“I want to try,” he says. “With you. Please tell me you haven’t changed your mind.”

“Steve,” Loki says, sounding so fond underneath his nerves. “I rather thought my shouting yesterday indicated I am yours, however you would have me.”

Steve brings Loki’s hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles. Loki’s eyelids flutter.

“We can figure out all the details later,” Steve says, his chest nearly bursting with joy. “How about we just enjoy the morning?”

Loki’s smile is tentative but genuine. He nods and presses his forehead to Steve’s.

“The first of many, I should think.”

Steve agrees wholeheartedly.


End file.
